I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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