Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Alive.
So much puke
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
