whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
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