fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
