I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
do herpes really smell.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
