I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Houston, we have a squirter
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
