The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
