Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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