Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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