Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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