so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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