i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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