Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
