we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
