I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
