Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
