Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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