how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
