Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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