last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
