Will you blow on my dice?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
