I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
