So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
