If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
