i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
