I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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