how can u be prego again
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
