I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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