Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
