bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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