I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
