we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
