Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
