do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
