Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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