i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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