I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
