while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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