meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
