I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
