Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
