My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you win again, gameday.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
