Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
