Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
