Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
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