"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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