ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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