was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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