you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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