So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
